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All y'all know about the Subway diet. But did you know there is such-a-thing as the Chipotle diet? There is now a new (to me) food-franchise-dieter to rival Subway's Jared. His name is Eric. So far he has lost 100 lbs on the Chipotle diet.
I've joked (hoped) about how I wish a doctor would one day tell me that I need to start a taco-nacho-burrito-chocolate-diet or my days would be numbered. Is my wish coming true? Is there such-a-thing as a Chipotle diet that will allow me to lose weight? Because I know of the one that will effectively allow me to gain! It is called eat a chipotle burrito and gain approximately a pound of fat on my belly.
Usually my favorite Chipotle burrito (with chips and guacamole of course) clocks me at 1800 calories. Unless I'm sweating on the StairMill for two hours, that meal is more than what I should eat in one day! So, I'm super skeptical of Eric's diet. Though he may have better portion control than me. He may not start itching and sweating when he walks up to the Chipotle door like I do. If only I could picture a plate full of brussel sprouts and wax beans, then I could truly control my taco, nacho, burrito, chocolate habit. But if you have better self control than me and need an alternative to your Subway/Points/Carb-less/Calorie-lull diet then check out Eric's success.
You make my lips hard just like cherry pits
And you can make me hit em high notes
like mariah carey hits em'
We can share our pie and chips, check out my diet tips,
You don't need to eat that burger so lets just rub it round your lips
We can food fight cause i'm in the mood tonight.
-lyrics from Food Play, Jigsaw
Is this Goodie Mob talking about two of my favorite things: food and loving? Or is it Goodie's Cee-Lo Green (recently affiliated with Gnarls Barkley) or is it some other Dirty South Dungeon Family artist or even George Clinton. No it is the self-proclaimed "Biggest Midget" Lady Sovereign. Like so many good things, I came across Lady Sovereign late and but by way of NPR. And I've added her to my playlist indefinitely.
In finding out more about her, I was a bit confused to hear Lady compared to "Eminem." Why? Because she is white and has talent and can freestyle? Naw. Hell naw. This Lady reminds me of all types of good music. "Lets Be Mates" reminds of Basement Jaxx's Rudy and don't get me on her "Pennies" track. Fire! Spitting hot fire! The track is so accomplished. The beats, the pace, the lyrics has the attitude, the swagger and the artform that makes me want to move! And that is what I need on a playlist that includes 10 minutes on a Versaclimber and 45 minutes on a Stairmill.
On the surface my life is going down the toilet—bills and debt galore, high BMI, gut-lap, emotional eater, apartment-renter, single-nester. Most of it is owed to the fact that I need to get back into the order of things: follow the rules, listen more, be patient, look beyond the obvious.
In kowtowing to the Zen of life, I've begun to do the "right thing" even with my daily diet and exercise routine. Studies prove that weighing yourself consistently and journaling food intake will increase weightloss success. I've been entering in my meals and exercise on Lose It!. I even journal my weekend meals, something I was adamantly and stubbornly against. But for the last three weeks I have seen how much it makes a difference. Recording everything I eat makes me AWARE of what I am putting into my body. I do eat more on the weekends and loaf around the house. But it all balances out since I workout during the work week and usually eat very sensibly. Journaling my weekend meals at least keeps me in check from going hog wild and eating ALL the tacos. So that has been good. Zen good. Following the rules good. But I'm still not down with weighing myself every day or even every week. But definitely not every day.
The scale totally wrecks my morale. And I'm not sure how much I should believe in it. Last Wednesday I got on the scale and I was sure I was down a few pounds. I could feel it. I could see it. But the scale showed no change. My suspicious eyebrow twitched. I got on and off a few times. The numbers went up and down. Then I grabbed an iron and stepped on the scale. All of a sudden I was DOWN 2 lbs? Obviously I need to get a new scale. But if I was not sure about myself and my weightloss I would have felt disappointed by all the work I'd been doing to see no results by the scale. So I can see the value in weighing myself every week or every other week, but I don't think the scale tells the whole truth. The scale is no mirror mirror on the wall.
Do the right thing. Eat right, pay your bills, live according to your means, follow the rules. But most importantly believe in your self. Because everything depends on your perspective. I KNEW I had lost 5 pounds. And I claimed it. Wrote it down in my journal. And guess what? I found a calibrated scale and it showed I lost 5 lbs. Believe it! Claim it! Do it!
My friend told me about a fellow gym member who'd come to their sweaty and cramped gym in Manhattan for the sole purpose of taking a stinky dump and then standing in the middle of the weight room gaze at the tv's. He never actually worked out. Well then again maybe that was his workout. Defecating and watching the latest top news stories. I was reminded of my friend's tale today as I noticed a few odd things going on in my gym.
A few weeks back I wrote about the flappy arm bicycler at my gym. He is still there and his arms still mesmerize me. But the goofballs and oddball sightings have expanded. There is the middle-aged woman who talks on the cell phone for her entire workout routine.
The early 20s-something who wears her Prada sunglasses while cycling on the elliptical. I thought that maybe she was a celebrity. Nope. She just likes wearing expensive shades while sweating.
The spandex leotard man who grunts loudly and suggestively every time he lifts anything, from a 50 lb dumbbell to his towel. It all demands a carnal grunt.
There is me who likes to yell out "Let's have a good workout ladies! Come on! Whew!" every time I enter the ladies locker room, startling the naked soccer moms and angering the flat-iron-haired power execs. It's only a matter of time they get me in the shower and pummel me with bars of soap. Ok, so I really do not do this. But I really want to.
I'm on the hunt for the bizarre, for more of my kind. My gym is huge with three levels and I am sure there will be more strangeness to find. And I'll be glad to document it.
Do tell, what odd things happen in your gym?
Goodness, my little sister from Cleveland just called. She is in town with her students on a Smithsonian tour. On their way out of town they are stopping off at Golden Corral for dinner. I do not see my sister often. And on my way to see her. But boy am I afraid. Rows of buckets filled with fried, smothered, dipped, greased, breaded, saturated, nuked, hydrogenated, sugared foods vs me, the always-hungry-girl, on my dinner hour. Do I have self-control? Is it too early in my training to be confronted by this assault? I have to see my sister's face and give her a hug. But how long can I stay before I break down and stuff a few 200-calorie-rolls in my mouth or a few pieces of fried chicken. Will I be able to hold out until I drive home for a sensible and calorie controlled meal? Or will I be driving home with a greasy mouth, glazed eyes and guilt in my stomach?
To be continued.....
Update:
Saw my sister's beautiful face, got plenty of hugs and kisses and did not eat a thing from GC. Thanking God it was not taco night.
Grownups would tell me that once I became an adult that my childhood and my childish things would be left behind. But with the popularity of Marvel Comic blockbusters and the Spike Jonze movie of Where The Wild Things Are I have been enjoying an extended childhood into my 30s. And though these are not the toys I thought I'd be buying in my 30s, I've found puerile joy at the Kidrobot store. Funny, smart and completely full of imagination, I've been spending my "allowance" on all types of adult-unnecessary collectibles. Check out graffiti writer & DJ Kid Acne's Rollin Stock minis of WTWTA characters.
About Kidrobot:
"Kidrobot is the world’s premier designer and retailer of limited edition art toys and apparel. Kidrobot merges urban street trends, fashion, and pop art to produce limited edition, collectible toys and apparel. Kidrobot products feature unique collaborations with top international artists with backgrounds as diverse as graffiti, fine art, fashion, industrial design, graphic design, illustration, and music."
I love fat. I do. That's right I said it. I love fat and I'm trying to lose weight. A contradiction right? Not for me. I do know you can eat fat and lose weight. And Infact good fat can help you lose weight. In my search and discovery of good fats, I've become a carnivore for avocados. No not guacamole (which I will eat to no end if you put a bag of chips anywhere near my mouth). But pure naked, green-in-green avocado. I wish society could love women like I love avocados. With it's cellulite dimply skin, plump pear shaped body with a big red heart, I do adore this fruit. Avocados are hefty in calories. Around 350 for a medium size avocado. So I limit my gluttony to the weekends. I take brown rice, sliced almonds, a small bit of toasted sesame oil, spinach and green peas and toss it into a hot wok. I slice open an avocado. Pluck out the seed. Sprinkle bits of shaved, chunky sea salt on top of the open avocado slices. Put it on the side of my brown rice stir fry. My toes curl and I am so happy to be a child of Eve.
I am a creature of routine, but am always eyeballing new ideas. I was happy to see the New York Times ode to the Avocado in it's Health and Fitness section. And there is an elegant
Tuna Ceviche or Tartare With Avocado recipe by Martha Rose Schulman. Since I do not exercise on the weekends, I have been debating deleting heavy carbs like rice and breads out of my weekend diet. Schulman's recipe has made up my mind. It's full of protein, fat-bottom avocados and summer greens. Reminiscent of summer and perfect for a lower-calorie meal.
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