My friend told me about a fellow gym member who'd come to their sweaty and cramped gym in Manhattan for the sole purpose of taking a stinky dump and then standing in the middle of the weight room gaze at the tv's. He never actually worked out. Well then again maybe that was his workout. Defecating and watching the latest top news stories. I was reminded of my friend's tale today as I noticed a few odd things going on in my gym.A few weeks back I wrote about the flappy arm bicycler at my gym. He is still there and his arms still mesmerize me. But the goofballs and oddball sightings have expanded. There is the middle-aged woman who talks on the cell phone for her entire workout routine.
The early 20s-something who wears her Prada sunglasses while cycling on the elliptical. I thought that maybe she was a celebrity. Nope. She just likes wearing expensive shades while sweating.
The spandex leotard man who grunts loudly and suggestively every time he lifts anything, from a 50 lb dumbbell to his towel. It all demands a carnal grunt.
There is me who likes to yell out "Let's have a good workout ladies! Come on! Whew!" every time I enter the ladies locker room, startling the naked soccer moms and angering the flat-iron-haired power execs. It's only a matter of time they get me in the shower and pummel me with bars of soap. Ok, so I really do not do this. But I really want to.
I'm on the hunt for the bizarre, for more of my kind. My gym is huge with three levels and I am sure there will be more strangeness to find. And I'll be glad to document it.
Do tell, what odd things happen in your gym?
Posts
1 comment:
At my gym (Curves) I am one of the youngest people there. One day the gym manager asked, " Does any one want me to turn the music up?" I raised my hand as high as I could. I felt like of my students. (OOh pic me gym lady.) Any way the old ladied were like, "I can here that music down the street." I was thinking, "I am going to F'in fall asleep in this place if they don't crank it up a notch. Tou can here it down the street yeah right little old lady. I guess Miracle Ear is really a miracle.( God forgive me for my unkind thoughts. Hopefully one day I will be the old energetic lady at the gym with the sense of hearing that mimics a K9.)
Post a Comment